Robert Anson Heinlein citáty

page 13

„Ženy a mačky si vždy budú robiť, čo sa im zachce. A mužom a psom ostáva iba upokojiť sa a zvyknúť si na to.“

„Nikdy sa nesnažte prekabátiť mačku.“

„Neznehodnocujte svoje deti tým, že im uľahčíte život.“

„Nikdy sa nepokúšajte naučiť prasa spievať; strácate tým čas a prasa to otravuje.“

„Puritán je človek, ktorý si myslí, že jeho vlastné pravidlá slušnosti sú prirodzené zákony.“

„Nič nie je zadarmo.“

„Šťastie spočíva v dostatočnom množstve spánku. Len v tom, v ničom inom.“

„Môžeš mať mier alebo môžeš mať slobodu. Ale nerátaj s tým, že budeš mať oba naraz.“

„Niet horšej tyranie ako prinútiť človeka zaplatiť za niečo, čo nechce, len preto, že si myslíte, že by to bolo pre neho dobré.“

„Pripisovali ste darebáctvu podmienky, ktoré jednoducho vyplývajú z hlúposti.“

„Hriech spočíva len v tom, že zbytočne ubližujeme iným ľuďom. Všetky ostatné "hriechy" sú vymyslené nezmysly. Ubližovanie sebe samému nie je hriech - len hlúposť.“

“Horses can manufacture more horses and that is one trick that tractors have never learned.”

“Chief, perhaps it would be clearest to say that the fasarta modulates the garbab in such a phase relationship that the thrimaleen is forced to bast—or, to put it another way, somebody loosed mice in the washroom. Seriously, there is no popular way to explain it. If you were willing to spend five hard years with me, working up through the math, I could probably bring you to the same level of ignorance and confusion that I enjoy.”

“She grabbed him by both ears and kissed him quickly, then ran away.
Don stared after her, rubbing his mouth. Girls, he reflected, were much odder than dragons. Probably another race entirely.”

““Let me get this,” the Old Man said. “You are promising the human race that, if we will just surrender, you will take care of us and make us happy. Right?”
“Exactly!”
The Old Man studied this while looking past my shoulders. He spat on the floor. “You know,” he said slowly, “me and my kind, we have often been offered that bargain. It never worked out worth a damn.””

“Just now I’m writing a series of oh-so-respectful articles about the private life of the Prophet and his acolytes and attending priests, how many servants they have, how much it costs to run the Palace, all about the fancy ceremonies and rituals, and such junk. All of it perfectly true, of course, and told with unctuous approval. But I lay it on a shade too thick. The emphasis is on the jewels and the solid gold trappings and how much it all costs, and I keep telling the yokels what a privilege it is for them to be permitted to pay for such frippery and how flattered they should feel that God’s representative on earth lets them take care of him.”

“Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing —and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely.”

“I think perhaps of all the things a police state can do to its citizens, distorting history is possibly the most pernicious.”

“They made a good team. As a matter of fact their talents were not too far apart; the artist is two-thirds artisan and the artisan has essentially the same creative urge as the artist.”

“I’m going to put it to you straight. Never mind about being chief engineer of a planet; these days even a farmer needs the best education he can get. Without it he’s just a country bumpkin, a stumbling peasant, poking seeds into the ground and hoping a miracle will make them grow.”

“You put me in mind of a case I ran into in the American West. A respected citizen shot a professional gunthrower in the back. When asked why he didn’t give the other chap a chance to draw, the survivor said, ‘Well, he’s dead and I’m alive and that’s how I wanted it to be.’ Jamie, if you use sportsmanship on a known scamp, you put yourself at a terrible disadvantage.”

“Paymasters come in only two sizes: one sort shows you where the book says that you can’t have what you've got coming to you; the second sort digs through the book until he finds a paragraph that lets you have what you need even if you don’t rate it.”

“Let me add,” he went on, “that since I handle secret and most-secret despatches, I know things that I don’t know, if I make my meaning clear.”

“I expect this to be my last venture in this field; 'tain't worth the grief”

“The less respect an older person deserves the more certain he is to demand it from anyone younger.”

“If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.”

“I wish they wouldn’t hold mornings so early.”

“As I once heard Andrew—that’s my disappearing brother—say: ‘Life consist in accommodating oneself to the Universe.’ Although the rest of our family has never taken that view. We believe if forcing the Universe to accommodate itself to us. It’s all a question of which one is to be master.”

“Dr. Russell, I concede that Washington has an atrocious climate. But you will have air-conditioned offices.”
“With clocks, no doubt. And secretaries. And soundproofing.”
“Anything you want, doctor.”
“The point is, Mr. Secretary, I don’t want them. This household has no clocks. Nor calendars. Once I had a large income and a larger ulcer; I now have a small income and no ulcer. I stay here.”

“Between being ‘right’ and being kind, I know which way I vote.”

“I’m not raising any kids to be radioactive dust.”

“At least once every human should have to run for his life, to teach him that milk does not come from supermarkets, that safety does not come from policemen, that “news” is not something that happens to other people. He might learn how his ancestors lived and that he himself is no different—in the crunch his life depends on his agility, alertness, and personal resourcefulness.”

“You're in bad shape when your emotions force you into acts which you know are foolish.”

“Patriotism is not sentimental nonsense. Nor something dreamed up by demagogues. Patriotism is as necessary a part of man's evolutionary equipment as are his eyes, as useful to the race as eyes are to the individual.”

“The Bible is such a gargantuan collection of conflicting values that anyone can prove anything from it.”

“How can you argue with a woman who won't?”

“It’s impossible for a woman to lay it on too thick with a man. If you tell a man he’s eight feet tall and say it often enough, with your eyes wide and a throb in your voice, he’ll start stooping to go through seven-foot doors.”

“But what you’re talking about means giving up all that—just the noble primitive, simple and self-sufficient. He’s going to chop down a tree—who sold him the ax? He wants to shoot a deer—who made his gun?…There never was and there never could be a noble simple creature such as you described. He’d be an ignorant savage, with dirt on his skin and lice in his hair. He would work sixteen hours a day to stay alive at all. He’d sleep in a filthy hut on a dirt floor. And his point of view and his mental processes would be just two jumps above an animal.”

“For three hundred years the race had glazed windows. Then they shut themselves up in little air-conditioned boxes and stared at silly television pictures instead. One might as well be on Luna.”

“Johnnie, the nice thing about citing God as an authority is that you can prove anything you set out to prove. It’s just a matter of selecting the proper postulates, then insisting that your postulates are ‘inspired.’ Then no one can possibly prove that you are wrong.”