"The Man Who Invented The Wheel" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
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"Man's Best Friend" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
“I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life.”
"Are You Spotty?" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Life Institute, Willesden." So I wrote away, seemed a good bargain, secret of life, twenty-five shillings. And I got a letter back saying, "If you think you can get the secret of life for twenty-five shillings, you don't deserve to have it. Send fifty shillings for the secret of life."
“Vote for EL Wisty and lovely nude ladies will come and dance with you.”
"The World Domination League" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: I've had some wonderful ideas for getting the dominating going. I've got some extremely subtle advertising slogans that should get the public behind us. Things like "Vote for EL Wisty and lovely nude ladies will come and dance with you." It's a complete lie, of course, but you can't afford to be too scrupulous if you're going to dominate the world.
“I drift very easily into becoming E. L. Wisty.”
As quoted in Daily Express (7 February 1967), and in Tragically I Was an Only Twin : The Complete Peter Cook (2002) by William Cook, p. 58
Kontext: I drift very easily into becoming E. L. Wisty. I’ve always felt very closely identified with that sort of personality. He is a completely lost creature, he never works, never moves, has no background and suspects everybody is peering at him and trying to get his secrets out of him. I've never met the man; he came out of me. I’d feel a lot easier if I’d met him and imitated him, as a matter of fact.
“No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable!”
To God.
Bedazzled (1967)
Kontext: All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even you'll be ashamed of yourself! No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable!
“Total domination of the world by 1958.”
Aims in the Manifesto of The World Domination League by E. L. Wisty and Spotty Muldoon (1965)
Kontext: 1. Total domination of the world by 1958.
2. Domination of the astral spheres quite soon too.
3. The finding of lovely ladies for Spotty Muldoon within the foreseeable future.
4. GETTING A NUCLEAR ARM to deter with.
5. The bodily removal from this planet of C. P. Snow and Alan Freeman and their replacement with fine TREES.
6. Stopping the GOVERNMENT from crawling up our pipes and listening to all we say.
7. Training BEES for uses against foreign powers, and so on.
8. Elimination of spindly insects and encouragement of lovely little newts who dance about and are happy.
9. E. L. Wisty for GOD.
As quoted in Daily Express (7 February 1967), and in Tragically I Was an Only Twin : The Complete Peter Cook (2002) by William Cook, p. 58
Kontext: I drift very easily into becoming E. L. Wisty. I’ve always felt very closely identified with that sort of personality. He is a completely lost creature, he never works, never moves, has no background and suspects everybody is peering at him and trying to get his secrets out of him. I've never met the man; he came out of me. I’d feel a lot easier if I’d met him and imitated him, as a matter of fact.
"Food For Thought" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: I've been reading a very interesting book recently. It's called The Universe and All That Surrounds It by T J Bleendreeble. It's an extremely good book about it. It's about seventy pages long, so it's fairly comprehensive about the whole thing and it's fairly interesting. Bleendreeble specialises in the universe. He doesn't branch out much beyond that. But he's quite interested in this limited field.
“I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.”
Peter Cook Beyond the Fringe
"Sitting on the Bench" (1961)
Beyond the Fringe (1960 - 1966)
Kontext: I could have been a Judge, but I never had the Latin for the judgin'. I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as being a judge was concerned... I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.
"The World Domination League" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: I'd vote for any party that would say "I won't allow people to throw garbage all over me." But none of the parties seem to be particularly interested. That's why I formed the World Domination League. It's a wonderful league, the World Domination League. The aims, as published in the manifesto, are total domination of the world by 1958. That's what we're planning to do. We've had to revise it. We're hoping to bring a new manifesto out with a more realistic target.
"The World Domination League" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: Hitler was a very peculiar person wasn't he? He was another dominator you know — Hitler. And he was a wonderful ballroom dancer. Not many people know that. … Of course Mrs Hitler was a charming woman, wasn't she? She's still alive, you know. I saw her down the Edgware Road only the other day. She'd just popped into the chemist's to buy something, and I saw her sign the cheque "Mrs Hitler" so I knew it was she. I tried to go up and talk to her, but she slipped away into the crowd. I was hoping she'd be able to come to the next meeting of the World Domination League. Not many people do.
“Stopping the GOVERNMENT from crawling up our pipes and listening to all we say.”
Aims in the Manifesto of The World Domination League by E. L. Wisty and Spotty Muldoon (1965)
Kontext: 1. Total domination of the world by 1958.
2. Domination of the astral spheres quite soon too.
3. The finding of lovely ladies for Spotty Muldoon within the foreseeable future.
4. GETTING A NUCLEAR ARM to deter with.
5. The bodily removal from this planet of C. P. Snow and Alan Freeman and their replacement with fine TREES.
6. Stopping the GOVERNMENT from crawling up our pipes and listening to all we say.
7. Training BEES for uses against foreign powers, and so on.
8. Elimination of spindly insects and encouragement of lovely little newts who dance about and are happy.
9. E. L. Wisty for GOD.
“We've all got royal blood in our veins, you know. It's the best place for it in my view.”
"Royalty" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Kontext: We've all got royal blood in our veins, you know. It's the best place for it in my view. We've all got a little bit of royal blood in our veins, we're all in line for the succession, and if nineteen million, four hundred thousand, two hundred and eight people die, I'll be king tomorrow. It's not very likely but its a nice thought and helps keep you going.
"The Tadpole Expert" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Peter Cook Beyond the Fringe
"One Leg Too Few" (1964) involving a one-legged man auditioning for the role of Tarzan.
Beyond the Fringe (1960 - 1966)
“You are now to retire, as indeed should I, carefully to consider your verdict of "Not Guilty".”
The Secret Policeman's Ball (1979)
"Peace Through Nudism" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
Caption to a cartoon drawn by Roger Law, published in The Observer (8 July 1962)
“And wuv, twue wuv, wiww fowwow you fowevah”
The Princess Bride (1987)
Peter Cook Beyond the Fringe
"The Great Train Robbery" (1964)
Beyond the Fringe (1960 - 1966)
The Secret Policeman's Ball (1979)
its not so good.
"Royalty" (1964)
E. L. Wisty
