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Rita Rudner

Dátum narodenia: 17. september 1953
Ďalšie mená: Rita Rudnerová

Rita Rudner je americká humoristka a spisovateľka.



„Ak stretnem muža, pýtam sa sama seba: ”Chcem, aby bol toto muž, u ktorého budú moje deti tráviť víkendy?“

„Zbožňujem byť vydatá. Je skvelé nájsť si tú pravú osobu, ktorú budem celý zvyšok života zlostiť a otravovať.“


„Milujem spánok. Je to najlepšie z oboch svetov. Ste živý a pritom o ničom neviete.“

„V Hollywoode je úspešným manželstvom to, čo vydrží dlhšie ako mlieko.“

„I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.“

„I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.“

„Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.“

„I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen“


„A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.“

„Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.“

„I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.“

„How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?“


„I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.“

„My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.“

„Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.“

„When I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always“

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