Joseph Heller citáty

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„Urob to sexy a zábavné a máš skoro všetko, čo potrebuješ pre čítanú knihu, z ktorej by sa mohol vykľuť veľký bestseller.“

„Vedel o literature vsetko, okrem toho, ako mat z nej radost.“

„Jediný naozaj neodpustiteľné hriech je používať ľudí ako veci.“

„Bol považovaný za experta ľuďmi, ktorí toho veľa nevedeli.“

„Myslel som si, že keď o tom nebude nikto hovoriť, nebude to pravda.“

„Pred nemocnicou sa stále bojovalo. Muži sa zbláznili a boli za to odmenení medailami.“

„Niektorí muži sa rodia priemerní, niektorí muži dosahujú priemernosť a na niektorých sa priemernosť vrhne sama.“

„Nepriateľ je každý, kto ťa chce zabiť, nezáležiac na strane, na ktorej je.“

„Prostitúcia jej poskytuje príležitosť stretávať ľudí. Postará sa jej o čerstvý vzduch a zmysluplné cvičenie, a udržuje ju z dosahu problémoch.“

„Šialenstvo je nákazlivé.“

„Ak je charakter osudom, dobrí sú zatratení.“

„Roky sú príliš krátke, dni sú príliš dlhé.“

„Je to klamný stav, že? Veriť v Boha a pritom nedostať žiadne znamenie, že je s Vami.“

„Bude žiť večne alebo zomrie pri pokuse žiť večne.“

„Nie som si ani istý, či sme naozaj mali takú veľkú potrebu mať Boha, ako sme sa zdali mať potrebu veriť v Neho.“

“Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery or simple bad luck.”

“What do you do when it rains?"
The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.”

“You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

"Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.”

“He was never without misery, and never without hope.”

“Where were you born?"
"On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered.
"No, no. In what state were you born?"
"In a state of innocence.”

“He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive.”

“Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.”

“Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.”

“There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.”

“Surely there can't be so many countries worth dying for.'
Anything worth living for,' said Nately, 'is worth dying for.'
And anything worth dying for,' answered the sacrilegious old man, 'is certainly worth living for.”

“You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!”

“Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.”

“She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.”

“Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.”

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”

“I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.”

“When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.”

“I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.”

“Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.”

“For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.”

“where are the snowdens of yesteryear?”

“I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.”

“Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.”

“Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence?"
"Yes, sir, it has."
"Then why do you do it?"
"To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.”

“You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.”

“He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret”

“Rise above principal and do what's right.”

“Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.”

“While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.”