George Burns citátov

„Ak dožiješ stovky, máš to mať. Len veľmi málo ľudí umiera po tomto veku.“

—  George Burns

„Keď som bol mladý, Mŕtve more bolo ešte živé.“

—  George Burns

„Ak chceš hneď teraz stratiť 85 kíl, zbav sa svojho manžela.“

—  George Burns

„Stačí jeden drink, aby som bol vyradený. Bohužiaľ si nespomínam, či je to trinásty alebo štrnásty.“

—  George Burns

„Keby ste boli ženatí s Marilyn Monroe, podvádzali by ste ju s nejakou škaredou slečnou.“

—  George Burns

„Láska má nekonečné množstvo stupníc a každý z nás žije na inom stupni.“

—  George Burns

Prisudzované výroky

„Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.“

—  George Burns

„If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.“

—  George Burns

„You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.“

—  George Burns

„When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.“

—  George Burns

„I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.“

—  George Burns

„Happiness is having a loving, close knit family in another city.“

—  George Burns

As quoted in The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners (2004) by Geoff Tibballs, p. 251

„Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.“

—  George Burns

Life magazine (December 1979) http://books.google.com/books?id=w5-GR-qtgXsC&pg=PA117&dq=%22Too+bad+that+all+the+people+who+know+how+to+run+the+country+are+busy+driving+taxicabs+and+cutting+hair.%22&sig=uj07kFeO7wja3cpTdX31dWR_pjs

„I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.“

—  George Burns

„Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.“

—  George Burns

Varianta: Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

„Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.“

—  George Burns

„I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.“

—  George Burns

„It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.“

—  George Burns

„The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.“

—  George Burns