Douglas Adams citáty

page 11

„Sme zaseknutí pri technológiách, hoci v skutočnosti chceme len veci, ktoré fungujú.“

„Technológia je slovo, ktoré opisuje niečo, čo ešte nefunguje.“

„42 je milé číslo, ktoré môžete zobrať domov a predstaviť svojej rodine.“

„Myslím, že som nešiel tam, kam som chcel, no myslím, že som došiel tam, kde som chcel byť.“

„Do normálu sa vrátime ihneď ako stanovíme čo je vlastne normálne.“

„""Vieš,"" nadhodil Arthur, ""vo chvíľach, ako je táto, keď som uväznený v prechodovej komore vogónskej lode s chlapom z Betelgeuze a čaká ma smrť zadusením vo vákuu vesmíru, vážne ľutujem, že som nepočúval, čo mi hovorila matka, keď som bol malý.""
""Prečo? Čo ti hovorila?""
""Neviem. Nepočúval som ju.""“

„Koľko ciest musí človek prejsť?“

„Táto okolnosť sa môže bez problémov stať predmetom napätia, pretože nie je absolútne ničím dôležitá.“

„Never ničomu, čo čítaš na nete. Okrem tohto. No, vrátane tohto, predpokladám.“

„Doterajší príbeh:
Na začiatku bol vytvorený Vesmír.
To nahnevalo veľa ľudí a je to všeobecne uznávané za zlý krok.“

„Bežnou chybou, ktorú ľudia robia, keď sa snažia navrhnúť niečo úplne bezchybné, je podceňovanie vynaliezavosti úplných bláznov.“

„Zriedka skončím tam, kam som mal v úmysle ísť, ale často skončím niekde, kam som potreboval.“

„Milujem deadliny. Páči sa mi ten úžasný zvuk, ktorý vydávajú, keď nám ujdú.“

„Nemôžeme vyhrať proti posadnutosti. Tá sa stará,my nie. Vyhráva.“

„Na chvíľu sa nič nedialo. Potom, po sekunde alebo tak, sa ďalej nič nedialo.“

„Máme normálnosť. Opakujem, máme normálnosť. Takže všetko, čo ani takto nedokážete zvládnuť, je preto váš vlastný problém.“

“I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer.”

“SHOEBURYNESS (abs. n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom”

“… Most of the words that airline staff used, or rather most of the sentences into which they were habitually arranged, had been worked so hard that they had died.”

“The explosion was now officially designated an "Act of God."
But, thought Dirk, what god? And why?
What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15:37 flight to Oslo?”

“Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.”

“It'd be like a bunch of rivers, the Amazon and the Mississippi and the Congo asking how the Atlantic Ocean might affect them… and the answer is, of course, that they won't be rivers anymore, just currents in the ocean.”

“The usual people tried to claim responsibility.
First the IRA, then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all, and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all.”

“My name is Kate Schechter. Two 'c's, two 'h's, two 'e's, and also a 't', an 'r', and an 's'. Provided they're all there the bank won't be fussy about the order they come in. They never seem to know themselves.”

“In fact, a very similar phrase was invented to account for the sudden transition of wood, metal, plastic and concrete into an explosive condition, which was "nonlinear, catastrophic structural exasperation," or to put it another way--as a junior cabinet minister did on television the following night in a phrase which was to haunt the rest of his career--the check-in desk had just got "fundamentally fed up with being where it was."”

“The device [electronic I Ching calculator] also functioned as an ordinary calculator, but only to a limited degree. It could handle any calculation which returned an answer of anything up to 4. …anything above 4 it represented merely as "A Suffusion of Yellow." Dirk was not certain if this was a programming error or an insight beyond his ability to fathom, but he was crazy about it anyway, enough to hand over twenty pounds of ready cash for the thing.”

“"Stotting" is jumping upward with all four legs simultaneously. My advice: do not die until you've seen a large black poodle stotting in the snow.”

“The room was not a room to elevate the soul. Louis XIV, to pick a name at random, would not have liked it, would have found it not sunny enough, and insufficiently full of mirrors. He would have desired someone to pick up the socks, put the records away, and maybe burn the place down. Michelangelo would have been distressed by its proportions, which were neither lofty nor shaped by any noticeable inner harmony or symmetry, other than that all parts of the room were pretty much equally full of old coffee mugs, shoes and brimming ashtrays, most of which were now sharing their tasks with each other. The walls were painted in almost precisely that shade of green which Raffaello Sanzio would have bitten off his own right hand at the wrist rather than use, and Hercules, on seeing the room, would probably have returned half an hour later armed with a navigable river. It was, in short, a dump, and was likely to remain so for as long as it remained in the custody of Mr Svlad, or 'Dirk', Gently, né Cjelli.”

“There was constant talk about hewing things and ravaging things and splitting things asunder. Lots of big talk of things being mighty, and of things being riven, and of things being in thrall to other things, but very little attention given, as I now realise, to the laundry.”

“The Great Zaganza said: "You are very fat and stupid and persistently wear a ridiculous hat which you should be ashamed of."”

“We don't have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it.”

“Technology is a word that describes something that doesn’t work yet.”