If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.
Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."
Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking."
Variants:
If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
Disputed
„Ak nie je isté, že pravda, ktorú sa chystáte povedať, bude pochopená, zamlčte ju.“
„Buď požehnané počasia, pretože si námetom pre ľudí, ktorí si nemajú čo povedať.“
Varianta: Nech je požehnané počasie, lebo je vecou ľudí, ktorí si nemajú čo povedať.
„Najhoršia časť na tom, že Vás oklamali, je vedieť, že ste neboli hodný pravdy.“
„Mnohí ľudia žijú tak, že nežijú, len sa chystajú žiť.“
„Ľudia mal som vás rád - spite!“
„Prečo ľudia, ktorí nemajú čo povedať, nemlčia?“
