Josh Billings citáty

page 3

„Za peniaze sa dá kúpiť celkom pekný pes, ale nedá sa kúpiť jeho kývanie chvostom.“

„Pes je jediné stvorenie na svete, ktoré vás miluje viac ako seba.“

„Na jednej strane je treba byť bláznom, aby sa človek zamiloval a na druhej by musel byť blázon, aby nemiloval.“

„Kde sú priatelia, tam je bohatstvo.“

„Vyspovedajte sa z vášho hriechu Pánovi a bude vám odpustené; vyspovedajte sa ľuďom a vysmejú sa vám.“

„Ak má niekto pravdu, nemôže byť príliš radikálny, ak nemá pravdu, nemôže byť príliš konzervatívny.“

„Akokoľvek je pravda vzácna, ponuka mnohonásobne prevyšuje dopyt.“

„Genialita je zdravý sedliacky rozum vo sviatočných šatách.“

„Chovajte kravu a mlieko budete musieť riediť vodou iba raz.“

„Nikdy nepracujte pred raňajkami. Ak musíte pracovať pred raňajkami, najprv sa naraňajkujte.“

„Pokiaľ sme šťastní, pripisujeme to našej chytrosti, za naše nešťastie obviňujeme Boha.“

„Muž a žena neznamená vždy len lásku. Často predstavujú nesúlad vo všetkom, čo sa ich spoločne týka.“

„Asi tak najviac originality, v dosiahnutie ktorej môže hociktorý spisovateľ dúfať, je kradnúť s dobrým úsudkom.“

„Hlúposť je nevedomá nevedomosť.“

„Je štatistickým faktom, že ničomníci pracujú usilovnejšie na tom, aby sa dostali do pekla, ako spravodliví na tom, aby vošli do neba.“

„Jeden z najlepších dočasných liekov na pýchu a afektovanie je morská choroba. Človek, ktorý chce zvracať, sa nikdy nevyvyšuje.“

„Nedôverčivosť je múdrosť hlupákov.“

„Skúsenosť je škola, v ktorej sa človek naučí, aký veľký hlupák bol.“

„Skúsenosti zvyšuje našu múdrosť, ale nezmenšuje našu hlúposť.“

„Vezmi do úvahy poštovú známku, syn môj. Zabezpečuje si úspech svojou schopnosťou držať sa jednej veci dovtedy, kým sa tam nedostane.“

„Zo slabocha si radšej urobte nepriateľa ako priateľa.“

„Ži v rámci svojho príjmu, aj keď si na to musíš vypožičiavať peniaze.“

“Nature never makes blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.”

“Thare iz sich a thing az being alwus too quick--i am one ov that kind miself, i alwus miss a rale rode train bi being thare a haff an our too soon.”

“A man's reputashun iz something like hiz coat, thare iz certain kemikals that will take the stains and grease spots out ov it, but it alwus haz a second-handed kind ov a look, and generally smells strong ov the kemikals.”

“Yung man, don't grind yure scythe all on one side!”

“I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.”

“Thare iz but phew people in this world underrated.”

“Don't mistake vivacity for wit, thare iz about az mutch difference az thare iz between lightning and a lightning bug.”

“I wouldn't undertake tew korrekt a mans sektarian views enny quicker than i would tell him which road tew take at a 4 corners, when i didn't know miself which waz the right one.”

“I kno plenty ov folks who are so kondem kontrary, that if they should fall into the river, they would insist uopon floating up stream.”

“I am poor, and I am glad that i am, for i find that wealth makes more people mean than it duz generous.”

“I honestly beleave it iz better tew know nothing than two know what ain't so.”

“Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and halff the road, and if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.”

“Thare iz this mutch kan be sed in favour ov good-breeding, it iz the only thing that kan make a phool endurable.”

“Genuine grief iz like penitence, not klamorous but subdued; sorrow from the hous tops and penitence in a market place shows more ambishun than piety.”

“About one haff the pitty in this world iz not the result ov sorrow, but satisfackshun that it aint our hoss that haz had hiz leg broke.”

“There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller's sister.”

“Natur duz awl her big and little jobs without making enny furse; the earth goes around the sun, the moon changes, the eklipses, and the pollywog, silently and taillessly, bekums a frog, but man kant even deliver a small-sized 4th ov July orashun without knocking down a mountain or two, and tareing up three or four primeval forests by the bleeding rutes.”

“A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided—it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.”

“Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, But four times he who gets his blow in fust”

“Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites mor wonder than a star in the heavens.”

“Pedantry iz the science ov investing what little yu know in one kind ov perfumery, and insisting upon sticking that under every man's knose whom you meet.”

“I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.”

“As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.”

“Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.”

“Every man should kno sumthing ov law--if he knows enuff tew keep out ov it, he iz a prety good lawyer.”

“Take awl the prophecys that hav cum tew pass, and awl that hav caught on the center, and failed tew cum tew time, and make them up in an average, and yer will find, that buying stock, on the Codfish Bank ov Nufoundland, at 50 per cent, for a rise, iz, in comparison, a good spekulatiff bizziness.”

“Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.”

“Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.”

“Familiarity breeds kontempt.”