Janet Evanovich citáty

page 3

“Everyone knows you can't see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever existed. That couch has the mother of all death cooties. – Lula”

“Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.'
There are some similarities.”

“Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.”

“Diesel is back," Ranger said.
Yes. How did you know?"
I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.”

“He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?”

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.”

“Cupcake, you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you”

“You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.”

“Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion.”

“I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.”

“Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.”

“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”

“Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.”

“My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think”

“It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due."
Carl Costanza - Seven Up”

“I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat.

It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.'

It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.”

“From the look on your face, I'd say you know him."

I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school."

Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli”

“I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!”

“Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?'

That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.”

“Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.”

“You fainted," I told Tank.

"I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.”

“Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.”

“I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.”

“Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.”
“Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?”
“He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.”

“Exercise improves your sex life.
Ranger to Stephanie”

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car… just for old times.”

“How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.”

“Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator."
Stephanie Plum”

“Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.”