Henry Louis Mencken citáty

page 9

„Človek, ktorý sa dokáže smiať, hoci len sám na sebe, nikdy nie je skutočne nešťastný.“

„Ľudský život je v podstate komédiou.“

„Filozof je slepec v tmavej miestnosti, ktorý hľadá čiernu mačku, ktorá tam nie je. Teológ je človek, ktorý ju nájde.“

„Prekonať strach je začiatok múdrosti.“

„Až pocit zodpovednosti človeka mučí, zároveň ho ženie, aby dosiahol nemožné.“

„Aspoň v jednom sa muži aj ženy zhodnú. Jedni aj druhí nedôverujú ženám.“

„Jediní naozaj šťastní ľudia sú vydaté ženy a slobodní muži.“

„Keď sa ženy bozkávajú, musím vždy myslieť na boxerov, ktorí si podávajú ruky pred zápasom.“

„Láska je falošná predstava, že jedna žena sa líšia od druhej.“

„Muži sú na tom lepšie než ženy. Za prvé vstupujú do manželstvá neskôr, za druhé skôr umierajú.“

„Čím viac starnem, tým viac nedôverujú doktríne, že vek so sebou prináša múdrosť.“

„Nevieme robiť veľké veci, iba malé s veľkou láskou.“

„Cudzoložstvo je aplikácia demokracie na lásku.“

„Dobrý politik je niečo také nemysliteľné ako čestný lupič.“

„Každý normálny muž musí byť čas od času v pokušení napľuť si do dlaní, vyvesiť čierny prápor a dať sa do podrezávania krku ".“

„Koniec koncov iba spojil dokopy viacero starých, dobre známych citátov. na Shakespeara“

„Každý problém má svoje riešenie, ktoré je jednoduché, jasné a mylné.“

„V Boha dôverujeme, ostatní platia v hotovosti.“

„Boh je nezanedbateľnej útočisko neschopných, bezmocných, úbohých. Nenachádzajú v jeho náručí iba útechu, ale aj určitý druh superiority, uľahčujúce ich zraňovanému EGU; On ich chce postaviť nad tých, ktorí sú lepší ako oni.“

„Boh viditeľne miluje bohatých, pretože rozdelil tak veľa medzi tak málo ľudí.“

„Demagóg je človek, ktorý prednáša doktrínu, o ktorej vie, že je zlá, ľuďom, o ktorých vie, že sú hlupáci.“

„Demokracia je teória, ktorá hovorí, že obyčajní ľudia vedia, čo chcú, a že si zaslúžia to dostať dobré a v konkrétnej podobe.“

„Hlavná nevýhoda peňazí je v tom, že žijeme vo svete, ktorý preceňuje ich úlohu.“

„Manželstvo urobí z dvoch ľudí jedného. Ťažko je však určiť, ktorý z nich to bude.“

„Protestantstvo prispelo ľudskému mysleniu hlavne svojím masívnym dôkazom, že Boh je nudný.“

„Puritánstvo - neodbytný strach, že niekto niekde môže byť šťastný.“

„Trvá to dlho, kým človek dôverčivý od prírody sa zmieri s myšlienkou, že Boh mu nakoniec nepomôže.“

„Vesmír je obrovský zotrvačník, točiaci sa rýchlosťou 10 000 otáčok za minútu. Človek je slabá mucha, ktorá sa na ňom v závratoch zmieta. Náboženstvo je teória, že tento zotrvačník bol vynájdení a roztočený, aby na ňom človek jazdil.“

„Viera v Boha môže byť v stručnosti definovaná ako nelogická dôvera v zjavenie pravdepodobného.“

„Ženy nenávidia revolúciu a revolucionárov. Majú rady mužov poddajných, ktorí sú vážení v banke a nechodia nikdy neskoro na obed.“

“All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.”

“How does so much [false news] get into the American newspapers, even the good ones? Is it because journalists, as a class, are habitual liars, and prefer what is not true to what is true? I don't think it is. Rather, it is because journalists are, in the main, extremely stupid, sentimental and credulous fellows -- because nothing is easier than to fool them -- because the majority of them lack the sharp intelligence that the proper discharge of their duties demands.”

“The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.”

“Democracy, in fact, is always inventing class distinctions, despite its theoretical abhorrence of them.”

“It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.”

“I well recall my emotions when I came upon the grave of Beethoven in the Central Friedhof, with its incomparable guard of honor — Mozart, Schubert, Gluck, Brahms, Hugo Wolf and Johann Strauss!”

“Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.”

“Here is tragedy—and here is America. For the curse of the country, as well of all democracies, is precisely the fact that it treats its best men as enemies. The aim of our society, if it may be said to have an aim, is to iron them out. The ideal American, in the public sense, is a respectable vacuum.”

“Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?”

“The State is not force alone. It depends upon the credulity of man quite as much as upon his docility. Its aim is not merely to make him obey, but also to make him want to obey.”

“When A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.”

“Progress: The process whereby the human race has got rid of whiskers, the vermiform appendix and God.”

“My guess is that well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without ever having a single original thought. That is to say, they never think anything that has not been thought before, and by thousands.
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable. The pressure of ideas would simply drive it frantic. The normal human society is very little troubled by them. Whenever a new one appears the average man displays signs of dismay and resentment. The only way he can take in such a new idea is by translating it crudely into terms of more familiar ideas. That translation is one of the chief functions of politicians, not to mention journalists. They devote themselves largely to debasing the ideas launched by their betters. This debasement is intellectually reprehensible, but probably necessary to carry on the business of the world.”

“I have often argued that a poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. I begin to suspect that there may be some truth in it.”

“I propose that it shall be no longer malum in se for a citizen to pummel, cowhide, kick, gouge, cut, wound, bruise, maim, burn, club, bastinado, flay, or even lynch a [government] jobholder, and that it shall be malum prohibitum only to the extent that the punishment exceeds the jobholder’s deserts. The amount of this excess, if any, may be determined very conveniently by a petit jury, as other questions of guilt are now determined. The flogged judge, or Congressman, or other jobholder, on being discharged from hospital — or his chief heir, in case he has perished — goes before a grand jury and makes a complaint, and, if a true bill is found, a petit jury is empaneled and all the evidence is put before it. If it decides that the jobholder deserves the punishment inflicted upon him, the citizen who inflicted it is acquitted with honor. If, on the contrary, it decides that this punishment was excessive, then the citizen is adjudged guilty of assault, mayhem, murder, or whatever it is, in a degree apportioned to the difference between what the jobholder deserved and what he got, and punishment for that excess follows in the usual course.”

“[Paul Patterson and I] soon got on the subject of the war, and I said flatly that I thought the Sun's course was not only ignorant and absurd, but also not a little disingenuous. It had gone over to the English in an abject and ignominious fashion, against all reason and all the obvious facts. Worse, it had yielded supinely to the most outrageous fiats of the Roosevelt censorship, and had even exceeded them. This shook Patterson somewhat, for he likes to think of himself as a news editor, and he insisted that in handling the war news the Sun had done good work.”

“Truth — Something somehow discreditable to someone.”

“When I hear artists or authors making fun of business men, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.”

“What is any political campaign save a concerted effort to turn out a set of politicians who are admittedly bad and put in a set who are thought to be better. The former assumption, I believe is always sound; the latter is just as certainly false. For if experience teaches us anything at all it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.”

“Socialism, Puritanism, Philistinism, Christianity—he saw them all as allotropic forms of democracy, as variations upon the endless struggle of quantity against quality, of the weak and timorous against the strong and enterprising, of the botched against the fit.”

“It is [a politician's] business to get and hold his job at all costs. If he can hold it by lying, he will hold it by lying; if lying peters out, he will try to hold it by embracing new truths. His ear is ever close to the ground.”

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia — to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.”

“Remorse — Regret that one waited so long to do it.”

“Democratic man can understand the aims and aspirations of capitalism; they are, greatly magnified, simply his own aims and aspirations.”

“To be happy one must be (a) well fed, unhounded by sordid cares, at ease in Zion, (b) full of a comfortable feeling of superiority to the masses of one's fellow men, and (c) delicately and unceasingly amused according to one's taste. It is my contention that, if this definition be accepted, there is no country in the world wherein a man constituted as I am — a man of my peculiar weakness, vanities, appetites, and aversions — can be so happy as he can be in the United States.”

“The majority of men prefer delusion to truth. It soothes. It is easy to grasp. Above all, it fits more snugly than the truth into a universe of false appearances—of complex and irrational phenomena, defectively grasped.”

“Nature abhors a moron.”

“When I die I shall be content to vanish into nothingness. No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever. I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it. ”

“All government, of course, is against liberty.”