“I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.”
Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 12
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Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 15
“I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get.”
Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 17
“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”
Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 14
Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes.
Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 126.
“My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.”
Zdroj: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 13
“There goes the neighborhood.”
Epitaph, quoted in Patricia Brooks, Laid to Rest in California (2006), p. 20