Fred Allen citáty

„Televízia je prostriedok umožňujúci ľuďom, ktorí nemajú čo robiť, pozerať sa na ľudí, ktorí nevedia nič robiť.“

„Gentleman je muž, ktorý nedrie ženu bez toho, aby predtým nesňal klobúk.“

„Kalifornia je krásne miesto pre život - ak ste náhodou pomaranč.“

„Koktailový večierok: Stretnutie usporiadané nato, aby štyridsať ľudí malo možnosť súčasne rozprávať o sebe. Muž, ktorý zostane potom, keď sa minul alkohol, je hostiteľ.“

„Konferencia je zhromaždenie dôležitých ľudí, ktorí osve nemôžu nič spraviť, ale spolu môžu rozhodnúť, že sa nič nedá robiť.“

„Slávna osobnosť je človek, ktorý ťažko pracuje celý život, aby sa stal slávnym, a potom nosí tmavé okuliare, aby sa vyhol tomu, že by ho spoznal.“

„Žijeme iba raz. Ale ak žijeme dobre, stačí to.“

“All the sincerity in Hollywood you could stuff in a flea's navel and still have room left to conceal eight caraway seeds and an agent's heart.”

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television.”

“I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.”

“California's a wonderful place to live - if you happen to be an orange.”

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”

“A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.”

“I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.”

“A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.”

“Sullivan will be successful as long as other people have talent.”

“I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.”

“What does Sullivan do? He points at people. Rub meat on actors and dogs will do the same thing.”